Empty
by KawaiiUchihaLiveInTokyo
Summary: MidoTaka Fanfic / Midorima dies of an accident and Takao carries the burden for it; but everyone has their limits and certainly Takao is no different / Warning: This is Yaoi (boyxboy) if you don't like it then please don't read it T T


_My reflection in the mirror is so empty, as if there is no one there._

_I walk alone on the street, but this empty street feels so empty._

_Da ra dat dat dat dat dat dat, Baby don't worry._

_After waking from the dream that was you, this morning of reality_

_feels so empty._

Takao stared at the bare white ceiling, gazing through the gapes of his slim fingers that covered his silvery blue eyes. The walls echoed with the sound of hot wind coming from the heater. The pale gray sheets were tangled amongst his snow white legs, trapping him in it's supposed warmth. It was winter in Tokyo, the heat spouting out from the heater warming everyone, but for some reason, Takao felt cold. Food tasted like a bitter medicine that was unnecessary to take and to him Society was just a cruel reality that he never wanted to wake up to again. Forcing himself to sit up, Takao looked longingly at the untouched pillow next to his, the bed sheet unwrinkled and left perfectly. He began pushing himself off of his bed that was no longer as inviting as it was when _he_ was there.

On the mornings of Spring, Sakura fell from outside their traditional Japanese house as the kids outside ran to school. On those mornings, Midorima would sit up almost automatically his green hair bounced on his shoulders as he did so, reaching for his glasses before being pulled back down by Takao. Takao would wrap his skinny arms around Midorima's waist leaning his head into Midorima's neck sniffing his scent. But now the only scent that remained was his own, the kids no longer ran past their house and the sakura no longer fell gracefully from its branches, the happy days no longer existed for Takao. Those days of love and happiness were now only a distant memory.

He trudged into his bathroom, staring at the male that greeted him in the mirror. The male had the same black hair as Takao, the same sad silver blue eyes as Takao and the same emotionless, unhappy expression. His eye bags hung low from the long nights, his eyes red from the tears he had shed. His lips chapped from the affection they received and his cheeks looked hollow as if he was starved. Takao sighed, bending down to brush his teeth not that he needed to, he wasn't planning on going out that day or any other day. He gingerly spat out the foam in his mouth, gurgling water to get rid of the rest. Looking at himself once again he felt so little presence, it was empty, as if no one was there. Takao had managed to fade away from society, to fade away from all family and friends, to fade away like so was the equivalent of dying but Takao didn't mind. Opening his fridge to look for food to eat, Takao grabbed a cup of water as the fridge was empty. Takao sipped on the stale tasting water, only drinking half, before throwing out the rest. _Great, now because the fridge has no food, I have to go out. That is the Humane thing to do, right? _Takao grimaced, inwardly. He buttoned up his light caramel coat that Midorima got for him that still had hints of Midorima's scent, over his black shirt and a pair of navy jeans. Forcing the creaking door open, while inhaling on Midorima's scent, Takao stepped outside onto the open street. The street was bare, no one walked among the shallow snow covered streets. Walking along the empty street made Takao feel as if his soul had disappeared, as if he too, was empty.

"_This reality that is morning, feels just so...so empty." _Takao whispered mentally, tilting his head backwards facing the sky covered in white clouds as he walked.

_As I face the morning, I realize once again  
>What wakes me up is not you but an alarm bell<br>Why is this damn bed so big?  
>In my vast desert of a heart, only a cold wind blows<br>I'm an empty shell,  
>a coward without you<br>People around me look at me with pity  
>It kills me, no what a day<br>Before starting my day, without thinking I saw…_

As Takao picked up a few bowls of instant ramen, Pocky and a 6 pack of coke, he began to wonder how long it had been since he it has been Midorima who would suddenly wake him up every morning before the sound of the alarm clock resonated. He began to wonder how long had it been since the bed had been so big. How long had it been since he began to feel dead, lonely, empty. How long had it been since his hollow heart ached with sadness and sorrow. Gradually reaching the counter, Takao stared at the clerk with his depressed eyes from behind his long bangs that acted as a curtain.

The clerk cleared his throat awkwardly before stuttering the price of Takao's items, "That'll be 820 yen, sir." Takao reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a 1000 yen note handing it to the clerk who quickly tapped a few buttons then handing Takao's items and change to him.

Walking back to his house, Takao paused in front of the playground that he and Midorima used to spend time at after basketball practices. Midorima would drink his canned Red Bean Soup as Takao snickered while eating soda ice cream. They would sit on the swings as all the kids who played during the day had left. The playground was practically theirs after 6:30, the two would talk about basketball, Takao would make fun of Midorima's cold personality and eventually they would talk about their future, together. Hand in hand as they swung in sync with one another on the swings before Takao would pull Midorima off and they would venture around the rest of the playground. Although Midorima was cold outside, he was soft inside, blushing when his friends knew he actually did care, but that was just how Takao liked him. Takao loved how he was able to make his Shin-Chan blush, able to make him smile and laugh, to make him happy as when Midorima smiles to Takao it felt like he had won the whole world. Midorima and him would always end up lying on top of the miniature castle that had a perfect view of the night's bright moon, lighting the dark city. Midorima would complain about how he was too tall and how his legs would get numb from them hanging over the edge of the castle for too long, but Takao would only laugh at Midorima's rantings, squeezing Midorima's hand every now and then.

They _would_ have a lot of fun at the playground even though they had outgrown it a long time ago. They _would_ hold hands in the open as there wasn't anyone around to watch, they _would_ kiss under the glistening moonlight, they _would_ joke around and neither of them _would_ feel lonely as they had one another.

_Would. __Pass tense._ _Would._

But now, Takao didn't know what fun was anymore, he didn't know how it felt to be kissed, how joking around works but he certainly was lonely. Left alone in a world someone else had imagined without a single glimpse of hope left in his heart. He stopped wearing the smile he always had on for Midorima no matter how bad the situation was, he stopped laughing and started a new found silence. A suffocating silence that threatened to strangle him to death but Takao didn't mind if he died, after all, what he wanted was to join his loved one.

"Excuse me, are you alright?" A middle aged woman asked, her eyes covered with pity for the black haired boy. Takao realized he was crying, realized he had dropped his groceries, realized that this was now his reality. Takao felt powerless, he trembled under his coat and shook in his Dr. Martin boots. He felt like an empty shell, a coward. Unable to stand for himself, incapable of anything in general. Takao wiped his tear stained eyes, before bowing in front of the lady that pitied him, picked up his groceries and walked off. Back to his home.

"_Shin-Chan! Shin-Chan! Shin-Chan!" Takao shouted from outside of Midorima's apartment. Midorima lived alone in Tokyo, Ginza District, as his parents were busy working abroad in America. _

"_Takao? Why are you here this late?" Midorima asked, starting to worry on the inside but controlled his emotion, keeping his eyes cold, hidden behind his square, half rimmed glasses. _

"_I don't have anywhere to go." Takao pouted, shoving his way into Midorima's house throwing his bag onto the couch. _

"_Go home, Takao." Midorima replied coldly, but still shut the door once Takao came in, instead of holding it open for him to walk out. _

"_I don't have a home anymore, my parents kicked me out because they said my grades weren't good enough." Takao shrugged, hiding his scared eyes from Midorima by simply turning the other way. _

"_Takao," Midorima begun, sitting himself next to Takao, "Wherever there is someone thinking of you, that is where your home is." Midorima finishes, showing the soft side of him._

"_Well then, Shin-Chan, are you thinking of me then?" Takao smirks, snuggling closer to his Shin-Chan earning over 9000 different shades of red on the Green Haired Teen's face, making him look like a lit up Christmas Tree._

Takao mentally slapped himself for thinking of such memories, the memories that hurt him even more, the memories he didn't want to forget but caused him an aching pain in his heart when he thought of them. Unforgettable. Unerasable. Irreversible.

_My reflection in the mirror is so empty, as if there is no one there._

_I walk alone on the street, but this empty street feels so empty._

_Da ra dat dat dat dat dat dat, Baby don't worry._

_After waking from the dream that was you, this morning of reality_

_feels so empty._

As Takao made his way around the neighbourhood to his house, left turn, another left turn, right turn, left turn and another right turn, his neighbours looked at him with pity in their eyes. They watched him like the lady in the playground did, they made him feel smaller than he already was, he felt like his complete existence has disappeared into the shadows the shell that was his old self. The street was empty, aside from the neighbours that stared at Takao from their gardens or from their windows. They stared at the once cheerful boy trudge his way to his 'home', misery displayed on his face.

Takao stared at the kitchen knife that laid on his counter table, how he wanted to take the knife and end his miserable life right there. But Takao knew better, he wanted to be with Shin-Chan until the end just like they had promised. Grabbing the knife and wrapping it carefully in a piece of cloth, which he assumed was a cleaning towel, he stuffed the wrapped knife into the bottom of his bag. Flinging the door open, without bothering to put his shoes back on, Takao sprinted out the door.

_Shin-Chan, I'm coming for you! _Takao yelled mentally, pushing himself to go faster, speeding towards the Sakura tree that they had decided to bury Midorima under.

Approaching the old tree, Takao realized there were still Sakura flowing from the tree. Smiling sadly, tears trickled over his cheekbones onto the grave that had 'Midorima Shintarou' engraved upon it. Cleaning off the thin sheet of snow that laid across on Midorima's grave, Takao sat in front of it, taking a deep breath before he began to talk.

_It's over, my love_

_Where are you?_

_Now we are just a memory_

_I was happy, don't forget me, let's meet again_

"_Shin-Chan! You can't catch me!" Takao giggled, dancing across the street, his eyes shut, arms outstretched as he twirled on the street. Midorima stared at him with unimpressed eyes but felt a smile creep its way on his face. Takao burst out in laughter as he saw the smile that laid across Midorima's face, but soon that smile that laid on Midorima's face disappeared. The smile was replaced with a sudden cry, Midorima's mouth formed letters but Takao couldn't make out what he was saying. A bright light shone behind Takao as Takao stared at Midorima's mouth that seemed to move without making a single sound as Midorima sprinted across the road to where Takao stood. Focusing on Midorima's lips, Takao could faintly make out what he was trying to say. _

'_T-A-K-A-O M-O-V-E!' Takao read, confused being that there was nothing to run away from, thinking that Midorima was just trying to joke with him, Takao stood in the same position giggling a little then finally realizing, Midorima was serious. _

_Midorima grabbed Takao's arm pulling Takao back onto the walkway causing Midorima to fling himself forward. To Takao, everything seemed to have happened in slow motion. Takao watched, eyes wide with horror as the approaching truck delivered a powerful hit to Midorima when it was meant for Takao. He watched as Midorima's blood was smeared across the dry asphalt. He watched Midorima's limp body lie on the floor, limbs twisted in several directions. Takao heard himself wail in shock, crawling over to Midorima, he froze. Sitting there on the muddy red road Takao couldn't help but vomit at the sight, puking out his dinner, Takao continued to cry. Someone must have called the ambulance as Takao heard the blaring sirens. He watched as several medics gathered around Midorima, gasping and gawking. He watched as they hauled Midorima away from him as he continued to sob on the road not caring if a car came or not. He watched as his future and his dreams disappeared. _

"_I-I'm sorry." A nurse muttered, tears welling up in her eyes as she stared at the state Takao was in._

"_It's okay, I know. He went to a better place, didn't he?" Takao sneered, a smile dancing across his face as he paused waiting for the nurse to answer, "WELL DID HE?!" Takao yelled, his voice bouncing off the hospital walls. "This is what you bastards always say, he went to a better place, he went somewhere better than here. WELL IF THAT PLACE IS SO GREAT THEN WHY ISN'T EVERYONE JUST DYING TO GO THERE?! WHY AREN'T YOU THERE SINCE YOU SAY IT'S SO GREAT?!" Takao screamed, enraged as his voice began to crack. "And that's because that place is horrible." _

_Sliding down the wall, he gestured for the nurse to leave. Unable to keep it in any longer, Takao's tears burst out of his bloodshot eyes as he wailed loudly. His desperate wails echoing down the empty hallway._

_Good days and sad days_

_Hard days and happy days_

_Now it becomes memories of the past_

_The me and you of the past are now over_

_It's like I came back to reality_

_My reason to live is gone, my head is complicated_

_When I open my eyes in the morning, my heart feels empty_

_I feel the emptiness, just like I did before I met you_

Takao recalled the good and the bad days, the hard and happy days that they shared. Now all those memories are only in the past, an unforgettable history. Then him and the Midorima that they used to be were now over.

"You know Shin-Chan, these days without you are getting pretty lonely. Really if you think about it, there really isn't any reason for me to live anymore. It's the same as the emptiness I felt deep inside me before I met you. Why did you have to go so soon?" Takao asked, the feeling of hot, wet, salty droplets leaked from his eyes and his throat tightened with agony. His hot tears melting through the cold white snow beneath him.

_You still flicker before me when I close my eyes_

_But I'll feel less and less as time goes by_

_I don't regret it, I'm just a bit sad_

_I don't miss you, I just long for you_

"Shin-Chan? Why are you always so cold? You don't always have to stay silent, ya know!" Takao pouted at the grave as images of Midorima flickered before his eyes. "You can come back now, Shin-Chan, if you don't come back I fear I'll disappear a little, day by day." Takao continued, he would have prefered if they were just casually talking at a cafe or by the pond in the park but reality had Takao sitting in front of Midorima's grave, receiving judgmental looks from multiple pedestrians.

"I accept your choice for leaving, I don't regret it a bit," Takao sighed, putting on a fake smile as he triggered a fresh wave of pain, the pain that stabs you in the heart, the pain that lasts forever, the pain from losing the one you love, "I'm just a bit sad and a bit lonely now and then but it's okay. Don't worry, I don't miss you, I just long for you, for you to return to me." Takao lied through his gritted teeth forcing the smile to last but really inside Takao wasn't talking to Midorima, he was talking to himself. Telling himself that things would work out.

_It's over, my love_

_Where are you?_

_Now we are just a memory_

_I was happy, don't forget me, let's meet again_

Takao stared at the grave awaiting for his answer which never came. His flickering illusions began to fade, displaying the painful reality that laid in front of him. Takao knew this feeling all too well, the familiar feeling of guilt that stormed within him, tearing his guts apart slowly. The feeling of depression and guilt corroding through him, dangerously threatening to surface. The tingling sensation in his nose, the tightening in his throat and the prickling under his eyelids formed all at once, as a second wave of the salty liquid spilled from his orbs, dampening the snow beneath.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so very sorry!" Takao gasped, hiccuping between his breaths as he bowed in front of the grave. "It should have been me! It's all my fault! I'm so sorry, Shin-Chan! If only I moved in time, if only I listened! Shin-Chan please come back! Come back to me! I need you! I'm so empty without you! It's not fair, nothing's fair, why can't it be fair?! Come back, come back, Shin-Chan come back!" Takao yelled, feeling his humanity slowly slip away from him as his tears dripped shakily from his chin as his nails dug into his palms drawing blood. His breaths rigid from the desperation that he felt.

"_Stop being so delusional." _Spoke a cold voice similar to Midorima's.

"Shin-Chan?" Takao gasped, whipping his head around to face the one whom he loved, Midorima. Takao knew what Midorima was talking about, he knew what he had to do next, after all, all he wanted was to join Midorima. Almost automatically, Takao spilled the insides of his bag grabbing the knife forcefully. He ripped off the cloth that covered the knife and stabbed his stomach with great force letting his blood spew out as he whispered his last words, "I'm coming, please wait for me, Shin-Chan." Twisting the knife around a few times for the process to fasten, Takao's body fell limply onto the soft blanket of snow, dying the white mattress red. A deep, dark, metallic smelling red. The same red as Midorima's, when Midorima's blood was smeared across the streets.

A/N: This is my first fanfic published on , I'm sorry if it's bad or is you don't like it! It's also based off this Korean (KPop) song called Empty, hence the title, by Winner. The song is legit deep and just sends your body continuous feels~~~ I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry... Also I don't think this is the best way of celebrating Kuroko no Basuke season 3 but oh well *shrug shrug* O3O For those that read the manga and watch the anime (like I do) yes you, my dear sire, are a true KuroBasu-er (- is that a thing...) I'm so lame wtf also OMFG DURARARA!X2 SHOU OMFOFMFGOFG AT FIRST I WAS LIKE HM I DON'T THINK I CAN GET INTO IT AGAIN BUT THEN I WATCHED IT AND WAS LIKE YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSH! OH AND ALSO TOKYO GHOUL SEASON TWO LIKE IDC IF I READ THE MANGA AND IK WUTS HAPPENING IDC IDC also the anime is different from the manga wth (I'm sorry)

-KawaiiUchihaLiveInTokyo


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